SYNOPSIS
JFK SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS FOR HAVING THE MOST ENEMIES. THE “BLONDES ARE FOR SCREWING, BRUNETTES ARE FOR MARRYING” WOMANIZING, CORSET-WEARING PRESIDENT KENNEDY SMOKED POT AND DROPPED ACID IN THE WHITE HOUSE ANGERING EVERYONE.
“LYIN’ LYNDON” JOHNSON, KNOWN TO JFK AS “RUFUS CORNPONE,” DESPERATELY NEEDED KENNEDY DEAD SO HE COULD BECOME PRESIDENT AND STOP THE CONGRESSIONAL PROBE INTO HIS CORRUPTION THAT WOULD SEND VP LBJ TO PRISON.
SECRET CROSSDRESSER AND BLACKMAILER EXTRAORDINAIRE J. EDGAR HOOVER, WHO ALSO WAS PARANOID OF PEOPLE STEPPING ON HIS SHADOW, FEARED JFK WOULD FORCE HIM INTO MANDATORY RETIREMENT.
USING MOB TACTICS TO FIGHT THE MOB, JFK’S ATTORNEY GENERAL BROTHER, BOBBY, KIDNAPS GANGSTER CARLOS MARCELLO AND DUMPS HIM IN GUATEMALA ANGERING HIS MOBSTER ALLY, SAM “MOMO NOT HOMO” GIANCANA. SAM FEELS BETRAYED. HE HELPED JFK GET ELECTED WHILE ALSO SHARING HIS MISTRESS WITH THE PRESIDENT. RACIST TEXAS OIL BARONS DESPISE JFK FOR LOVING “MARTIN LUTHER COON” AND TRYING TO END THE LUCRATIVE OIL SUBSIDY.
ANTI-CASTRO EXPATRIATES USE EXPLOSIVE CIGARS, TB LACED SCUBA AIR TANKS, AND A BOMB CONCEALED IN A BUST OF ERNEST HEMINGWAY TO KILL THE CUBAN DICTATOR AND GO TO FURTHER EXTREMES TO EXTERMINATE KENNEDY. THEY HATE JFK FOR SELLING THEM OUT AT THE BAY OF PIGS AND FAILING TO ENGAGE FIDEL DURING THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS.
LEE HARVEY OSWALD INFILTRATED THE SOVIET UNION UNDER THE CIA’S FAKE DEFECTOR PROGRAM& LATER BECAME THE PERFECT PATSY FOR THE ASSASSINATION BY BEING A NAIVE, NICE GUY, WHO EVEN GAVE UP HIS CAB TO A SWEET OLD LADY WHILE ON THE RUN AFTER BEING SET UP TO TAKE THE FALL FOR JFK’S MURDER.
THE CIA WORRIED BY JFK’S APPEASEMENT TO THE COMMIES COORDINATED A SMOKE SCREEN TO HIDE THE TRUTH OF KENNEDY’S ASSASSINATION IN A STRATEGY KNOWN WITHIN THE AGENCY AS “THE WILDERNESS OF MIRRORS.”
AIDED BY “TOUGH TITTY SON-OF-A-BITCH” CIA SPOOK AND FUTURE WATERGATE BURGLAR, E. HOWARD HUNT, NIXON DISCOVERS EVERYTHING ABOUT THE GREATEST MURDER IN AMERICAN HISTORY FROM LBJ DUCKING FOR COVER IN HIS LIMO 30 SECONDS BEFORE JFK IS SHOT TO THE SECRET SERVICE WIPING DOWN THE LIMO CRIME SCENE TO HIDE CLUES THAT WOULD REVEAL THE LOCATION OF THE ASSASSIN WHO FIRED THE “KILL SHOT.”
THO' WARY OF BILL CLINTON, WHO SPIED FOR THE CIA AS A RHODES SCHOLAR, NIXON HANDS HIS EVIDENCE TO SLICK WILLIE, NOW PRESIDENT, TO PREVENT CLINTON FROM BEING TAKEN DOWN THROUGH IMPEACHMENT “CHARACTER ASSASSINATION” BY THE SAME CABAL OF COCKSUCKERS, WHO TOOK OUT JFK WITH A BULLET AND NIXON WITH WATERGATE.